“Why don’t we communicate like we used to?” 😕

Sounds familiar?

I’s a question I’ve heard, time and time again from clients whose marriage is in trouble.

Let me answer with a question of my own?

What’s your favorite dessert?

Mine’s mint, chocolate chip ice-cream.

Yum. Loved it since I was a little girl. 😋

Now imagine that sweet, minty, chocolate chip ice-cream…

And imagine that we add a few grains of salt…

OK. No problem. You probably wouldn’t even notice, right?

So let’s keep adding grains of salt until we have a quarter of a teaspoon of salt, added to the mint, chocolate chip ice-cream… 😣

Now you would definitely notice. But maybe you would keep eating it…

I guess it depends on how much you like mint, chocolate chip ice-cream.

And on how many scoops are in the bowl. lol

Now, let’s keep adding salt until there’s half a teaspoon of salt… 😖

And then one, two, or even three teaspoons of salt…😨

A cup of salt! 😱

Now it’s impossible to ignore the salt.

It doesn’t matter how much you love mint, chocolate chip ice-cream, the salt has ruined it.

Are you with me? Do you get the point of the story?

What I’m saying is…

That if your communication with your spouse…

Communication that used to be sweet, fun, easy, joyful… 😊

Has become bitter, tense, hard, difficult. 😤

Then it’s very likely that what you need to do…

Is to stop adding salt! 🚦

Pushing, demanding, nagging, arguing…

These are all behaviors that are like salt.

They make your spouse retreat and clam up.

These are behaviors that need to be UN-LEARNED, so that your spouse can feel relaxed and comfortable.

So that the sweetness can come back into communication. 😍

The sweet, delicious, mint, chocolate chip ice-cream is still there, you just have to stop adding salt.

The UN-learning process isn’t easy, but it’s definitely easier with help.

If you’d like to book a one on one session with one of our amazing coaches so that they can help you to identify the behaviors that are dumping salt into your mint, chocolate chip ice-cream.

Drop a comment – no more salt. And we’ll get right back to you.

-Heather Choate